AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
