Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
