Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
