Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
