from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
