shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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