So drunk its hurt
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
