Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
