If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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