Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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