Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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