break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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