Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
