FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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