I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Boobs are out for the taking
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My ass is underappreciated
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
