I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
