all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
