i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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