So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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