Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize