i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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