You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
