he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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