Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
