their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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