im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have aggressive nipples.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
