Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ttyl tear gas
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize