Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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