I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
