Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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