So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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