Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
