i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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