I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
