You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
