You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
only if we run a train.
done.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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