This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
