Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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