No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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