? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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