Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
