I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
