that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
