you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I touched a dick in church today
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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