k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize