; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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