im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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