I hate your face
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well you can't waste a boner
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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