Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
