I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
