I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
As shirtless as possible
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
