guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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