I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude. I can hear the air.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
