That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
