My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize