I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
