Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
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we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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