My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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