Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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