he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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