Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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