no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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