cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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